Look how badass he is while holding that baby
But what if he used it on the guy who came to the door for his daughter?
TELL ME, MIDGARDIAN. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS MY DAUGHTER?
I AM OBLIGED TO INFORM YOU NOW THAT ANY DISRESPECT TOWARDS HER SHALL SURELY END POORLY FOR YOU.
WHOSOEVER DATETH MY DAUGHTER
IF HE BE WORTHY
THE BLESSING OF THOR
and watch when the time comes, he’ll just be like “Hey, mate, treat her good okay? Bring her back before eleven please. Drive safely.”
I THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY MORE ABOUT HER GODFATHER, TOM LOKI HIDDLESTON TBH.
What the hell.
This is the greatest post in the universe.
Rebloggin for the comments.
Tumblr, I can’t take you anywhere.
I love you
ALL of you
this just keeps getting better!!!
Dear lord this girl is going to have the hardest time getting a boyfriend. The poor thing is going to come home, stomp up to her room, try to slam the door, but it’ll be impossible because Chris Hemsworth will effortlessly stop the door with his huge Norse God arm.
And she’ll be like “DAD! YOU SCARED HIM AWAY!”
“I DID NO SUCH THING, MY DEAREST DAUGHTER. I ONLY SPOKE TO HIM THE TRUEST TRUTH OF THE NINE REALMS.”
“Oh my god, dad…”
“HE HAD AN ILL LOOK ABOUT HIM, I LIKED IT NOT. YOU ARE DESERVING OF THE HIGHEST OF QUALITY IN MEN, NOT THE LIKES OF HIM. YOU HAVE A DUTY AS PRINCESS OF ASGARD TO MARRY WELL AND SERVE THE KINGDOM, AND I ALSO WISH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A HUSBAND WHO WILL TREAT YOU AS THE QUEEN YOU ARE.”
“Dad… I’m not a queen! Stop it!”
And then Tom Loki Hiddleston, her godfather, walks in and she’s like: “And YOU! YOU SCARED HIM, TOO!”
“Oh, I did? My mistake. I overestimated the bravery of the young man, I fear.”
“WELL DONE, BROTHER.”
“Dad! Uncle Tom! SHUT UP! YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL BROTHERS!”
“I fear your daughter is saying hurtful things in her anger, she means them not, I think. Worry not, Thor, I had trouble with my children more than once…”
“UNCLE TOM YOU DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!”
“BROTHER PERHAPS WE SHOULD LEAVE HER TO HER ANGER.”
“No, wait! You guys have to stop doing this, I’m never going to get a boyfriend if you keep doing this!”
“Oh, alright. We shall never again berate or intimidate the young men whom you present to us. I promise.”
“UNCLE TOM STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.”
“Darling girl, my name is Loki, God of Mischief, Silvertongue, Lord of Lies. I know not of this Tom you speak of.”
“YES, MY DEAR. YOUR YOUNG MEN SHALL BE SAFE FROM ANY SO-CALLED WRONGDOING OF OURS.”
“WHAT IS IT, DAUGHTER?”
“Never mind. Thanks, good night.”
#And then the next day Tom and Chris are in full costume#helmets and all#with their scepters and their capes#And she brings in this young guy#and they open the door#And there’s her father and her godfather#Tom smiling his ovary-bursting smile#you know the evil one that’s also strangely sexy#And Chris has his hammer at the ready#and they greet him#calling him a suitor for the hand of the princess of Asgard#talking about how he’ll need to complete nine Trials to prove himself worthy to have her as his queen
but this just keeps getting better and better
EACH TIME I SEE THIS THERE ARE MORE WONDERFUL COMMENTS
OMFG DIS POST. DEM COMMENTS /dying
It gets better every time!
I am CRYING oh my god
[[And there will be that one guy.
He won’t run or never call again.
He’ll sit there and play along.
“I, (insert name), swear on my very life that thine daughter, thine princess of Asgard shall return safely to you. My very life be forfeit at your hands if it be otherwise.”
It’ll be RDJ’s kid. His dad will have warned him about this long beforehand and quizzed him on it.]]
I didn’t even think it was possible for this post to get any better. Thanks for proving me wrong.
I certainly am an advocate of therapy. I wish that our culture, meaning American culture, had less stigma attached to getting professional help for mental illness.
Fuck man. This just makes Go On’s cancellation hurt even more.
The man in the top hat was rapping for tips. When someone made a donation, he’d ask their name, then build a rap around their name. When this boy walked by, however, he gave him a rap, free of charge:
Mom and Dad will always be your best friend.
You got a problem that’s about to take you over?
and put it,
on Mom and Dad’s shoulders…”
love, love this.
and there’s even more amazingness coming next week. serious amazingness.
This is my fifteen year old sister, Hannah. She has a cyst on her pineal gland, which is in the middle of her brain. (From what I understand, a cyst is like a tumor but filled with liquid.) We’ve known about it for about two years, and it constantly gives her horrific headaches, that can last weeks. Her vision is getting very bad because of it too, and so is her quality of life, she’s started fainting and had a couple seizures recently. Just last week we had a Skype conference with one of the two neurosurgeons, in the world, who would potentially perform the surgery to remove it. (A lot of people have trouble getting this surgery approved, but because Hannah’s is one of the largest cysts in one of the youngest patients, it was approved.) Praise God. The surgery will take place in June, but only if we can pay the $50,000. We really need help raising this money.
This is the link to the fundraising site.
Any amount helps.
Please keep her in your prayers.
As much as I’m a cynical person, I do try to donate to worthy causes (especially the “smaller” ones). I’ve got a tumor near my brain — nothing this serious — that will eventually need surgery and I’m so grateful for having insurance and a job that pays me enough to cover the out-of-network doctor costs. I hope they can raise enough for this girl so that she can have the surgery and recover in peace without worrying about the financial cost.
at the risk of sounding offensive,
why is everyone depressed these days? When I was younger no one ever talked about being depressed, and not many people seemed that depressed, It has always been a thing for sure but it was not nearly as ubiquitous as it is these days. now it seems to be more common among young people than not-being-depressed is.
has it always been that way, but people didn’t understand it/talk about it? Have people always been depressed but didn’t have a forum like the internet to discuss it? Are some people diagnosing themselves with “depression” when it may be something else? Did something change in society that is causing more people to be depressed? Is there something in the food? Or is it one of those things where I am conflating what it’s like on the internet to what it’s like IRL?
I think there are a lot of things going on — on one side, people say “I’m so depressed” when they’re upset about a situation, which can often be more aptly described as “sad.” “I’m so sad that my favorite restaurant closed” or “I’m so sad that my mom won’t let me go to XX.” I don’t doubt that the feelings are truly painful and full of disappointment, but I don’t think they are “proper depression.”
There is still a huge stigma on mental illness, especially when talking about it in person. If you’ve never had to deal with it, then it’d hard to understand the pain and frustration when people say to you “what’s wrong with you? why don’t you just choose to be happy?” or “so many people have it worse than you, what do you have to complain about?” And when you’re being told that you have absolutely no reason to feel this overwhelming, suffocating depression because your life isn’t “as bad” as someone else’s then you stop talking about it and feel even worse and it spirals down.
Then you see someone talking about their own struggles online. And you realize that you’re not alone and that if you say, “hey, me too” in a conversation about depression, people aren’t going to jump down your throat and tell you that you have no right to complain or feel the way that you do. So you go from “hey, me too” into a slightly more detailed explanation of how you’re feeling and maybe someone else says “me too” and you feel even more understood and less-alone.
It’s much easier to do it online because it’s far less intimidating — you don’t risk your family and friends telling you that you are making things up for attention, nor do you have to deal with their personal biases when it comes to your feelings. It’s a relatively safe space to put your story out there — especially when it can be anonymous like on tumblr — to test the waters and hopefully find the resources to get help.
While it breaks my heart to see someone else go through this, I so wish that I have had this article to show people for the past 25 years. I’m sure that they’d ignore it and continue to feed me the bs that the fish are alive and not give up hope that they’d come back one day, but at least when i was/am drowning in the utter loneliness and desperation to be heard, I’d know that someone else out there truly understood.
Allie does an amazing of describing depression — at least the kind that I’ve dealt with for most of my life. And she also explains what it’s like to be suicidal. i know that it’s a difficult conversation to have, especially when people don’t understand how one could feel that way but she nailed it with her explanation of coming to certain realizations and then being in a position to “comfort” other people when you try to share what you are feeling with them.
And the part where her dog looks at her and she wishes that nothing else loved her so that she wouldn’t feel obligated to keep on existing? That is what I have gone through countless times — my one cat loves me like no one else ever has in my entire life, and like no one else ever will. Knowing that she would not understand and feel alone is usually the only thing that keeps me here when my life and future seems like such a pointless waste.
despite being online for over 15 years now, i’m always taken aback by how affected i am by people i’ve never actually met in person. seeing allie pop up with a post, even a “transitional” post made me teary to know that she’s okay.