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i started this day with the superawesome honor of calling a great writer and telling her that she won a superawesome contest. 

it was so lovely and she was as giddy as we were. 

five hours later, i found out that my sister-in-law’s best friend, the maid-of-honor at her wedding to my brother, and the mother of a wonderful little girl lost her battle with cancer. her second battle with it. she’s 36. 

we knew it was coming, but in the past month she had been doing much better and then took a turn for the worse this weekend. i’m so brokenhearted for everyone and i’m in this place where i don’t really know what to do. i’m used to doing *something* — and here, i’m not really connected to her family, i don’t want to put anyone off in an already difficult time. i left my SiL a message and told my brother that I’ll do anything that’s needed. anything that i can do for anyone. 

i should be writing but i’m hiding from my responsibilities in the random channels of HBO. first “shattered glass,” now “galaxy quest.” i could make a “never give up, never surrender” comment but i just feel too lost right now.