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popgurlie:

Esquire round up of ladies telling their favorite jokes. Most these are really bad, but I love really bad jokes.

Some of my favorites:

Deborah Ann Woll
Two nuns are driving down a road late at night when a vampire jumps onto the hood of their car. The one nun says to the other, “Quick! Show him your cross!” So the other nun leans out the window and shouts, “Get off our f—ing car!”

Jessica Stroup
A cruise ship passes a small desert island. Everyone watches as a ratty-looking bearded man runs out on the beach and starts shouting and waving his hands.

“Who’s that?” asks one of the passengers.

“I have no idea,” replies the captain. “But every year we sail past and he goes nuts.”

Rose McGowan
Walking home after a girls’ night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that. The next day, the first woman’s husband phones the second woman’s husband, furious: “My wife came home last night without her panties!” “That’s nothing,” says the other. “Mine came back with a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said, ‘From all of us at the fire station, we’ll never forget you.’”

Saffron Burrows
Two women in Dublin see two drunk men coming down the street. The first woman says, “Will you look at those two drunks?” The other woman says, “Well, at least your feller has brought you some flowers.” And the first woman says, “You know what that means? I’ll be on my back with my legs in the air all week.” And the other woman asks, “Why, have you not got a vase?”