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popgurlie:

A wonderful, emotional piece from Allyson: Gratitude

“I didn’t know Adam Yauch. I never met him, or even spotted him in traffic or standing in line at a coffee shop in L.A. But when I read the news of Yauch’s passing last Friday, I crumbled. That afternoon, I drove over to the studio where his band recorded Check Your Head and Ill Communication, just a couple of miles from my apartment, and laid flowers by the back stairs. That night I curled into that tiny ball I can twist myself into when I want to show people I can fit into their carry-on luggage, and I sobbed quietly into a pillow.

…

When someone you love dies, it’s usually someone you know, someone to whom you’ve expressed your love. When an artist dies, someone you never knew, but still someone who seemed to know you so well, whose words gave you comfort…there’s a special kind of empty left in your heart. It’s not that I’m broken because I didn’t get to say goodbye. It’s that I was never able to say hello. I was never able to say thank you.”